Subject: [cherubs2] Leaving GP Listserv - preg men. Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 13:29:27 -0000 From: "doyle_propst" Reply-To: cherubs2@yahoogroups.com To: cherubs2@yahoogroups.com After some time and thought, I am now leaving this listserv. When I joined sometimes I would be sensitive to things said or issues raised or even those who became pregnant after loosing a CDH babe. I didn't vent about it. I didn't complain or say one word. Because I knew if I had - it would have been taken wrong. Instead I found other members that became email buddies off the listserv. We would not gossip about others but we would make comments to one another like - "it seems like the listserv is causing pregnancy". I'm an idealist - one of my greatest downfalls. I think all should get along - no matter what religion, background or whatever we are all GRIEVING PARENTS. We lost our children to the most devistating birth defect who cares how, what medical choices we made or what religion we are or if we chose to let our angels go early through early induction and no medical intervention or we tried everything and then some medically offered for our child? I don't understand the intolerance that some have had here, I was so glad to see others go through subsequent pregnancies and have HEALTHY children! To know their feelings about that. And now we are being segregrated yet again. I can't take it. I thought that my two years almost three of grieving Cecilia, that I was senstitive to those that are ttc, I thought that some of my experience with my pregnancy with Noah would be helpful to all who consider or might consider or who are involved with CHERUBS to help others. I was wrong, I guess. Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. I also am already a member of four LISTSERVs due to my involvement with CHERUBS and adding one more is just too much. Many of you have become great friends and probably also understand what I'm feeling. I'm overwhelmed with emails, and I have to cut back but then I agree with Dawn - I always thought that we could be more tolerant than others after all we went through. In closing - we are going to have Stupid People in our lives - sometimes we are those stupid people too - we have our moments too! Then we all have friends and relatives that just don't get it. Let it go - make peace with it or you will be angry forever. It just isn't worth it. Truly would your CHERUB rather you turn the other cheek - ignore it and move on to more important things or cause more conflict? Patience. One of many things Cecilia and Rachel both taught me! I admit I did the same things many of you did with those friends and family. I didn't speak to my mother or my sister for 6 months - you know what - they grieved too - just not in the same way! I was wrong. I should have held them close rather than pushed them away. Don't make the same mistakes I did - learn from them. I hope your process is easier through seeing my mistakes! If anything here offends anyone please email me directly - and vent - at doyleew@aol.com. I don't mean it to - and for the record I have a dear friend right now who has for the last four years been TTC her first child. I believe I have been MORE than sensitative to those that are TTC or chose NOT to have other children. Sorry that my "joy" with a healthy child has offended anyone here afterall, it isn't like Brian, Rachel, Cecilia and I don't deserve the joy of Noah. With Love, Hope & Prayers, Elizabeth, Proud Mom of Cecilia Winn Propst, 11/2/99-12/10/99, LCDH, "She always had wings, us mere mortals just couldn't see them." ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--> Save on REALTOR Fees http://us.click.yahoo.com/Xw80LD/h1ZEAA/Ey.GAA/6xSolB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> CHERUBS- The Association of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Research, Advocacy, and Support cherubs@gloryroad.net http://www.cherubs-cdh.org PO Box 1150, Creedmoor, NC 27522 (919) 693-8158 Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/