Subject: [cherubs] Re: Listservs - Preg Listserv, etc.
Date: Sun, 21 Jul 2002 09:20:48 EDT
From: doyleew@aol.com
Reply-To: cherubs@yahoogroups.com
To: cherubs@yahoogroups.com, cherubs2@yahoogroups.com

To all,

(And Dawn, I'm not speaking for you but am trying to clarify this to all -
since you made it clear on the GP Listserv.)

Recently, it seems that something is in the water - so to say - and we have
had many on the GP Listserv become pregnant.  We also have many that are TTC,
or through their experience have chosen NOT to try to have another child.  We
have had many posts about pregnancy - not about our grief for loosing our
CHERUB.

I know when I first joined the GP Listerv, I unsubscribed to the Main
Listserv.  I just couldn't handle hearing of others expecting a CDH babe or
bringing their CDH babe home or even loosing another!  It was too tough for
me to read about the "successes" out there when to me at that time Cecilia's
case seemed to be a failure.  (Grief comes in waves and steps and I am beyond
that now.)  Time heals most wounds - never all - but most and those it
doesn't heal you learn to live with.

I also know reading about others having healthy babes and pregnancies in a
small way was hurtful to me.  So, I bypassed those for a while.  I must say I
was happier for the people of CHERUBS having subsequent babes healthy than
the general public who had little or no appreciation for their gifts!  But it
was hard for me.

As you all know, CHERUBS has grown - we are going through growing pains - and
we need to be sensitive to all involved here.  I first thought that we would
be "segregated" but it isn't that at all.  If one wants to join the Listserv
for those pregnant - they can - even if they are not and they just want to
keep up or understand the feelings of the subsequent pregnancy.  Us pregos
can still post to the listervs of our pregnancies but to make sure that those
who don't wish to read - we really need to make sure that the subject line
has PREG RELATED on it.

I must say, being pregnant now - I was a little upset and sensitive to this -
and I really shouldn't be - I should try to understand that there are those
out there that at this stage in grief (even those with survivors choose not
to have other children or just can't emotionally handle hearing of "healthy"
pregnancies in their stages too) and that is OKAY.  I want to respect that
because I was at one time at that point too!

I hope this helps.  We can share the joy - and be sensitive to all.

Hugs,
Elizabeth, Proud Mom of Cecilia Winn Propst, 11/2/99 - 12/10/99, LCDH, O2,
N0, Gortex Patch Repair, Silo Patch to final Closure, ECMO 32 days (UVA's
record holder), Renal Failure, Hemophiltration via ECMO, Hemophiltration via
CVH machine - youngest patient ever on, Pulmonary Hemorrhage.
(\o/)
 /_\   http://hometown.aol.com//doyleew/myhomepage/index.html

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