Subject: To Mark Date: Thu, 28 Mar 2002 11:55:43 -0500 From: Listservs Department Organization: CHERUBS- The Association of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Research, Advocacy, and Support To: mdilll2@juno.com Hi Mark, I'm sending this you personally, off the list. I'm very sorry Victoria is sick and I will keep you all in my prayers. I'm also very sorry that Victoria is upset about all this, of course babies don't burn in hell. I'm just confused as I have no idea what Elizabeth said. Could you please forward that e-mail to me if you don't mind? The list has been talking about mediums and faith and of course this a touchy subject. I know Elizabeth and Lise have butted heads over touchy subjects before, I had no idea they were arguing off the list on this subject. Of course this is against rules. I'm very sorry Victoria read something that upset her so much. This list has very touchy subjects sometimes, things children probably shouldn't read, moms and dads here often vent about almost subject, from in-laws, to doctors, funeral procedures, abortion, nightmares, etc.. Grief is not a pretty thing and many parents work through many issues on the list. Usually, everyone behaves and is very supportive, but everytime faith is bought up, someone ends up in an argument. I'm only guessing, but I think Elizabeth was upset about a few things Lise posted concerning God and talking to our babies through mediums. Actually, quite a few parents were upset by Lise's posts and I had to stop the entire discussion on the list. I do not condone any argumentative e-mails off the list, or on the list. Everyone has a right to their own opinion in CHERUBS, as long as they don't inflict pain or judgement on others with their comments, and I've had to remove Lise from the before because of this behavior and have warned her several times, as well as Elizabeth. I'm by no means putting blame on Lise, I'm just stating that I've only seen what she has written and I have no clue what Elizabeth wrote in that e-mail but I can see why she would be upset. Of course this does not excuse any rude behavior on Elizabeth's part and I will talk to her and would like to see this e-mail. I do think it's unfair to blame Elizabeth, on the list in front of all the other members, for Victoria's illness. She did not send the e-mail to Victoria and I know Elizabeth personally and know that she would never hurt a child on purpose and it's not right to hold her responsible for Victoria's illness and unsupervised reading of her e-mail. In all fairness, it's horrible to accuse someone of harming a child like that, Elizabeth did not, and would never, tell a child something to upset them, especially something about babies burning in hell. I cannot comment on that e-mail because I have not read it. But I can say that to blame Victoria's hospitalization on an e-mail sent to her mother is unfair, because while Elizabeth may have said things she shouldn't have, it is not her responsibility to supervise what other people's children read and if the tables were turned and other children read some of Lise's posts in the past on faith and abortion, they would have been upset too. We have 300 members on the lists and we only have arguments like this once or twice a year and we have never had a problem of children reading e-mails before and I can't ask members to watch what they say in case children read e-mails meant for their parents. In most cases, the lists are the only place that members can talk freely about how they feel and about their concerns and questions. I cannot ask them to censor their emotions in case a child reads their e-mails, it is up to the parents to censor what their children do and see on the internet. I do hope Victoria will recover soon and I am truly sorry that she is upset and I wish I could have prevented her from being upset, but I can't monitor everyone and everything in an organization of over 1100 families. I hope you understand. Victoria has sent me little notes and a bracelet she made and holds a special place in my heart and I'm so very, very sorry to see her in so much pain. I know your family is very religious and she has all the support needed to get through this, though I wish she didn't have to deal with this. Your entire family will be in all of our prayers. Dawn Torrence dawntorrence@cherubs-cdh.org mdilll2@juno.com wrote: > This is a personal email to Don T. who I think is the president of this > site. My name is Mark Dill.I just came back from spending the last 15 > hours in the emergency room for our daughter Victoria. Apparently she and > our son Jason got my wifes emails for her the other day and found one , > actually three, from a person who's child is named Cecilia. Each email > was more vicious and hate filled then the last. The part my children > read said basically that my wife must believe that this baby, Cecilia is > "burning in hell". Granted this is a personal email but I am believing > she is part of this group Cherubs as well and I just have no way of > contacting her. My daughter, who is just 8 years old, for whatever reason > had formed a 'bond' with Cecilia over the past 18 months. I dont' know > why.Maybe to comfort her in knowing her sister was playing with another > baby. > I was believing my wife was on a site for grieving parents...is this > correct? I am beside myself with worry for my daughter who was > hospitalized because of severe stomach pains, headaches and crying bouts. > My daughter has said to me that babies shouldn't be burning in hell. The > concept was obviously too great for her to understand. > This person who wrote this has severe anger management problems as well > as this 'bully' persona. Itis unfathomable to me that if someone knows > people have small children to be careful as to what is written.I know you > have rules but maybe you should include something about this.My wife > doesn't have a mean bone in her body.She would give the shirt of her back > to anyone. My daughter is the same way. She is loving, giving, sweet and > loves life. To see her wracked in pain because of something written by a > 'friend' , I just can't comprehend. And all this is over what? That > person needs to grow up and realize that everyone has different opinions > and to lash out and send bitter, angry spewing emails to someone with > small children, is just nuts. > Thank you for listening Don. I realize it probably isn't easy to control > a site as large as this, but for the sake of my child, I appreicate your > time in reading this. > Mark Dill > > Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ADVERTISEMENT > > CHERUBS- The Association of Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia Research, > Advocacy, and Support > cherubs@gloryroad.net > http://www.cherubs-cdh.org > PO Box 1150, Creedmoor, NC 27522 > (919) 693-8158 > > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.